Ok, I know, I know...Everyone sends their kids to camp. It's good for the kid, it's good for the parent. I have read/heard it all!!!
Maybe because I never went away to camp? Maybe because I am THAT mom? Maybe because I'm not real fond of my child being in a different state than me at a young age? Who cares why this is so hard?? IT JUST IS!
There, that's my rant!
I have spent this whole first day cleaning out files, bins and magazine holders (we use for school stuff) that have been stuffed with things outside of their assigned labels. It was a good distraction for most of the day and now I am stuck with a huge mess to reorganize. Am I in trouble or what? My girl is at church camp day 1 and I am a wreck and have made my house one too!!!
With a lot of time in prayer, walking the house guest (Patrick and Mercedes dog, Juicy) about 5 times, asking all my friends to pray I have decided that yes, she will be fine, and so will her mom :)We are thrilled she had the courage to go. And thankful that she is with her best friend, Ashley. Like my husband said this morning, this will strengthen their friendship.
Then I began to wonder who this was about? Maggie or me??? Oh, dear! Is this mom afraid of life without her kiddos? No doubt all moms face this. Really, this is our full focus 24/7. There are moms that have sent their kids to war, to other countries for missions, college, sailing expeditions...what a wimp this mom is!
I guess I needed this to help me put some things into perspective. Hoping that this time will do just that. I am very thankful that this week is not as busy as the others have been. And that Max is not very needy, lol, he keeps himself busy! So that I can focus on some things that need focused on and get some "life" accomplished. After all, I need to be distracted and not picturing my sweet baby's eyes filled with tears as she got on the bus to leave :(
I am praying for safety for all the campers, for Maggie to be a good leader (she is the second oldest going), for her heart to be tender to the Lord's prompting,that she will be faithful in her Bible reading, for her to have a wonderful time, and not miss home too much!
For all of you brave moms out there that may be laughing at me, hats off to you! LOL! I am inspired by your ability to fully trust the Lord in this. I am a rookie. At least with Maggie...I miss my boys when they are gone, but Maggie, well, it's just different....
Psalm 16:1 Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
R.U.N.N.I.N.G.
Running...ugh!
About 9 weeks ago we began the Couch to 5k training program. At the end of 9 weeks you should be able to run a 5k. Well...I have made it 1 mile only once. I seem to be stuck on about 7/10ths of a mile at a time. DOUBLE UGH!!! This a 5k does not make.
I first have to say, I am grateful that I am able to attempt to run. The reality of maybe losing my ability to walk hit me square in the face 12 years ago.
That is when my MS diagnosis began. The Lord has been merciful to me though and I suffer no great debilitating effects of this disease. I do however suffer some physical difficulties that hinder my ability to run as far and long as I want to.... And let me tell you, this came as a great surprise to me. I wasn't expecting this to be so hard.
I see people running all the time and they make it look so easy...lol!! I told Maggie that once and she said, "Mom, I'm sure it isn't easy for them either." Love that girl:)
I'm not gonna lie, at first I was a bit angry over this. Then I was reminded that His grace is sufficient. I can walk, and I can run. It is just going to be a loooong haul to get to my goal. I haven't yet accepted that my max distance may only be a mile at a time before my left leg/foot quit on me. I am going to keep pushing and praying and crying (yes, I have shed some tears over this) until I am fully convinced I have hit my "mark". I really do not want my "mark" to be only a mile. However, if that is where I max out, I will accept it with gratitude.
For all of the runners out there, you truly have been given a gift! I want that free fall of running to be mine! And I really have no idea why. Maybe it's my "I'm over 40 and need to do something" time! Like the fact that I want to teach myself to play guitar :)
Well, the rain is stopping, my cue to put on my running shoes, clip my phone (for music and gps) to my hip and hit the pavement and see how far I can make it today. I am hopeful, maybe today will bring a greater distance!
About 9 weeks ago we began the Couch to 5k training program. At the end of 9 weeks you should be able to run a 5k. Well...I have made it 1 mile only once. I seem to be stuck on about 7/10ths of a mile at a time. DOUBLE UGH!!! This a 5k does not make.
I first have to say, I am grateful that I am able to attempt to run. The reality of maybe losing my ability to walk hit me square in the face 12 years ago.
That is when my MS diagnosis began. The Lord has been merciful to me though and I suffer no great debilitating effects of this disease. I do however suffer some physical difficulties that hinder my ability to run as far and long as I want to.... And let me tell you, this came as a great surprise to me. I wasn't expecting this to be so hard.
I see people running all the time and they make it look so easy...lol!! I told Maggie that once and she said, "Mom, I'm sure it isn't easy for them either." Love that girl:)
I'm not gonna lie, at first I was a bit angry over this. Then I was reminded that His grace is sufficient. I can walk, and I can run. It is just going to be a loooong haul to get to my goal. I haven't yet accepted that my max distance may only be a mile at a time before my left leg/foot quit on me. I am going to keep pushing and praying and crying (yes, I have shed some tears over this) until I am fully convinced I have hit my "mark". I really do not want my "mark" to be only a mile. However, if that is where I max out, I will accept it with gratitude.
For all of the runners out there, you truly have been given a gift! I want that free fall of running to be mine! And I really have no idea why. Maybe it's my "I'm over 40 and need to do something" time! Like the fact that I want to teach myself to play guitar :)
Well, the rain is stopping, my cue to put on my running shoes, clip my phone (for music and gps) to my hip and hit the pavement and see how far I can make it today. I am hopeful, maybe today will bring a greater distance!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
This picture is so precious to me! These three girls have been best friends since Kindergarten. And although they are in 3 separate schools now, they still attend the same church together. We are blessed beyond words that we get the privilege of escorting them to their first official Youth Rally tomorrow evening. (They are just moving up to the youth ministry of our church. )God has been so good to us. We are so thankful to be a part of our youth group and the opportunity it affords us to enjoy the teen years with our children.
The time is just passing so quickly. Spending the other evening at Maggie's softball game, with my oldest son, Patrick and his son, Myles....it is just overwhelming to me to see my life from this new perspective. A whole new lens. One in his early twenties and two teenagers. The only little is the grand baby! WOW!
Gratitude is what comes to mind! An amazing sense of gratefulness to the Lord for giving me such wonderful children and for opening my eyes and my heart to His ways of parenting, of loving and sharing of Him with them. And for a husband that is sensitive to the needs of his children and supportive beyond measure of the calling to serve in the ministry and home school our two youngest children.
Now, off to check on these silly girls, who just finished scarfing down a whole package of cinnamon rolls...oh, to be that age and calories be free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, June 6, 2011
FB or blog...or both??
Well...I see it has been a bit over 2 years since I started this.
(((SIGH))) I will be honest and say that FB took over. FB is not nearly as labor intensive and truly it is not nearly as transparent. Although that may seem contradictory, FB is full of one-liners, quick blibs, a sort of "instant gratification" of blogging. I found it much easier to post on FB, without truly exposing self. When I would consider getting back to this I would get that queasy feeling of ...hmph.. who wants to read a paragraph or more of my brain??? So, I would just stick with the familiar, easy, and entertaining FB.
After a "mis-click" on FB though, I found myself really rehashing the entire idea of it. I went through the usual pros and cons, thought alot about it, prayed about it and still am unsure as to what I should do. Maybe a family and close friends one? Maybe stick with what I have and be more careful, (can I be more careful????) The answer to that is a resounding YES! I know I can be more careful. I guess the most disheartening of it all was that in an attempt to protect my children from something I knew they shouldn't see, I almost myself put the very thing out to view for all of the innocent little eyes that are on my FB list.
And I do know that won't bother most, and I am certainly not boasting of self here. But, I was truly sick over this issue. Thinking about how I felt knowing what my son almost saw. Yes, I know, I know, there is a world of ugly out there and the Internet is certainly no haven of innocence. It is just so easy to get complacent in a familiar setting. I am thankful to the Lord for a high sensitivity to the ungoldy, for a heart of grace to understand my own faults, and mercy that was applied to me, that I may offer it to others.
So, here I am, deciding to continue on with the social networking phenom and finding that I cannot get away from connecting to the outside world via technology. Hence the return to this blog.....
The break has been freeing in a sense. When I told the kids this they looked at me like I had three heads, (they look at me like that often). But FB had become burdensome, of course only by my permission did this occur.
How about this: Once we are saved we are free from sin, we are no longer slave to it. We are free to say NO to it. That is how this feels for me. I am free now NOT to FB. Be careful of judging me...hehehe..you could be me!
(((SIGH))) I will be honest and say that FB took over. FB is not nearly as labor intensive and truly it is not nearly as transparent. Although that may seem contradictory, FB is full of one-liners, quick blibs, a sort of "instant gratification" of blogging. I found it much easier to post on FB, without truly exposing self. When I would consider getting back to this I would get that queasy feeling of ...hmph.. who wants to read a paragraph or more of my brain??? So, I would just stick with the familiar, easy, and entertaining FB.
After a "mis-click" on FB though, I found myself really rehashing the entire idea of it. I went through the usual pros and cons, thought alot about it, prayed about it and still am unsure as to what I should do. Maybe a family and close friends one? Maybe stick with what I have and be more careful, (can I be more careful????) The answer to that is a resounding YES! I know I can be more careful. I guess the most disheartening of it all was that in an attempt to protect my children from something I knew they shouldn't see, I almost myself put the very thing out to view for all of the innocent little eyes that are on my FB list.
And I do know that won't bother most, and I am certainly not boasting of self here. But, I was truly sick over this issue. Thinking about how I felt knowing what my son almost saw. Yes, I know, I know, there is a world of ugly out there and the Internet is certainly no haven of innocence. It is just so easy to get complacent in a familiar setting. I am thankful to the Lord for a high sensitivity to the ungoldy, for a heart of grace to understand my own faults, and mercy that was applied to me, that I may offer it to others.
So, here I am, deciding to continue on with the social networking phenom and finding that I cannot get away from connecting to the outside world via technology. Hence the return to this blog.....
The break has been freeing in a sense. When I told the kids this they looked at me like I had three heads, (they look at me like that often). But FB had become burdensome, of course only by my permission did this occur.
How about this: Once we are saved we are free from sin, we are no longer slave to it. We are free to say NO to it. That is how this feels for me. I am free now NOT to FB. Be careful of judging me...hehehe..you could be me!
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